


(After)Life

by Kikua



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angel!Akiteru, Angel!Kei, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, My heart couldn't take it if this fic was too depressing ok, Slow Build, The first chapter gets the worst of the depressing stuff but it will get lighter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:46:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikua/pseuds/Kikua
Summary: The one thing that man will never realize until after his dying breath?How truly cruel and disappointing even the afterlife is.A GuardianAngel!Tsukishima x Charge!Kuroo fic





	1. "He's a weird one, alright"

"Hey, hey did you hear? A new round of promotions are coming up for the combat branch, can you believe it?"

"Really? Hm, well I suppose they'll need a new round of combat angels now that so few humans now are getting properly fulfilled destinies."

"Well can you blame the changes? No angels, humans fall into chaos without angels, meaning more demons. More demons then eventually...no more us."

As the anxious angels continued their pointless blather, Tsukishima yawns at his desk, tapping on it impatiently as he waits to be called for his new assignment.

 _'They're still so afraid of all that demonic nonsense? Like those beasts could seriously survive all the barriers and spells long enough to make it here anyways.'_ Tsukishima Kei of course was no stranger to those things. Countless angels, (brothers and sisters they'd call themselves occasionally) slaughtered by their claws and poisonous words. There was usually a balance of order to their chaos but with the modern world as it was now...

Chaos reigned supreme.

Of course man was too foolish to really notice chaos even in it's so called harmless stages. Jealousy, anxiety, impatience, sadness, fear, while some of these emotions might even be considered neutral rather than completely negative in the universe's eyes it was these feelings bred chaos. 

It is said that when too much chaos accumulates in man's heart that he takes the form of a sinister monster at his end; a demon. But, should a human be subjected to a path that is just, kind, patient, clear headed, knowledgeable and true then they will take the form of a being of wisdom; an angel.

Before the recent state of affairs, even if a human died with some chaos in his heart, so long as there wasn't too much the heavens got a new angel regardless. But it was different now. Humans were cutting their lives short, not fully realizing their potential destinies and giving up because their world seemed so small and hopeless. In reality it was the opposite, a fulfilled destiny could effect countless others and potentially inspire the masses but now? Between crimes, disease and suicides the new born angelic numbers were dwindling. 

Originally angels never needed to learn to fight, such brutal tactics were reserved for those beasts but now with so few destinies reaching a just end, everything was in the table. The best advantage that angels had over their foes was of course, was their guiding hands. Sure a demon could influence a human some with temptation but angels were created for that very purpose of guiding humanity! The process was simple--a carefully chosen guardian angel goes down as a protector to their human(or charge as they're called for in the angelic manuals), able only to interact invisibly, without their charge's sight. Following them secretly, the angel gives them some advice or plays at their conscious and if all went well they pass on and become angels themselves, happy end for everyone. For the best effects, minimal and quiet influence always made things easier in the long run.

 **That** was Tsukishima's job for as long as he'd been here (which was longer than he'd care to admit). Many humans saved in the name of their ultimate destiny. And unlike many of his fellow 'brothers', Tsukishima had a perfect record of protection. Not one of his charges became demons and their destinies often had ripple effects for generations. This time was no different. He'd show those paranoid fools like always, that as long as Tsukishima Kei was among their side the heavens had nothing to fear.

\---

"Ah. Kei good timing! I need you on this one pronto, big, biiiiig deal. Think you can handle it?" 

"Akiteru, I didn't think you'd still be here giving out the orders, aren't you supposed to be in the combat branch?" Tsukishima asks with a raised brow.

The other blonde laughs. "Aw, c'mon I know we shared mortal lives together but would it kill you just once to acknowledge me as your big brother? Always so uptight."

"My assignment then sir? Guardians shouldn't keep their charges waiting." Tsukishima says flatly, taking a rolled up scroll from Akiteru.

"I don't know why but they're giving you this one as an adult. I know usually guardians get their charges young since they're in that whole 'impressionable' phase but I don't make the rules, unfortunately. But that also means he's likely already easy been exposed to excessive amounts of chaos. It'll be a challenge Kei so be ca---" 

The younger angel's back was already turned and his mind gone as he started thinking of possible solutions to this given scenario and charge. Sighing, Akiteru waves goodbye and slides back down into his chair.

"Goodluck..."

\-----

A mess of black untamed hair. Check. Identification, wallet, bag filled with various supplies for even a stranger to confirm it's Tetsurou Kuroo, check. So far, so good. Hesitantly leaving his spare pair of glasses and deciding to go with the contacts route instead, he quickly picks up his keys and heads outside. It's loud and crowded like always but no big deal. Down the apartment steps and and his phone is already blowing up, likely with the latest news from Twitter or maybe a few professor's emails. Not feeling like answering them, Kuroo continues onward. 

After a bit of the usual trek, Kuroo ends up at the cross walk he'd taken many times to university to toil away at his doctorate. Traffic from various vehicles is a bit hectic from what he can tell without listening. He's got headphones in his ear blasting music to block out everything going on both outside his head and inside. A few of his fellow pedestrians look pissed but the area, like always, is infamously busy, _'What are they expecting? Most drivers are always gunna think they're hot shit, of course they'll keep driving like morons.'_ Kuroo thinks. 

Catching sight of an incoming large truck the man takes a last look at the surrounding world and jumps.

All of his debts for the past were settled. He finished recently getting in touch with people he'd had issues with and apologized. Why? Because Kuroo Tesurou had his oh so wonderful world of his turned to hell after finding out he was terminal. Worse still even with treatment there wasn't much promise, heck for the past month alone in the university lab he tried a few compound ideas but to no avail. He'd watched this same scenario happen before with his grandfather, fighting that disease tooth and nail only to end up not even himself by the end and simply clinging into "life" via machines and morphine all. It was horrible. And something like that certainly wasn't Kuroo's definition of life was either.

"No." he finally says after a lot of thought one particular night. That wasn't how he was going out. He didn't want anyone, let alone his family see him looking like that and after leaving a note in his apartment along with a file on his laptop containing a short will, they'd understand, forgive and move forward knowing it was his choice. His life.

For the first time Kuroo felt content. He wouldn't have to keep trying so much. Granted he was a man of science and rationality but deep down he hoped there was something cool on the other side. Maybe an awesome dance club with unlimited free drinks and a personal backroom with his personal pick of the other hot vips. Or maybe even just a group of fellow geniuses where they could laugh together and discuss what their future ideas were beforr passing and how hecked up the world they lived in was. 

But he doesn't wake up to that. No instead he sees something far more amazing. Beautiful white feathers...? And they're on...wait who is that? The figure holding on to him certainly didn't look like a bird. Squinting, his dark eyes see a young man around his age cursing like a sailor and biting his lip.

"Shit! Of all the fucking times they ship me down here! He could've died for fuck's sake and this would all be pointless!" Eyeing the human, Tsukishima frowns, "Tch, if this is who passes now for grand-destiny and guardian angel worthy, May the heavens help the future of humanity..." With soft blonde hair and honey colored eyes that gave off this 'I'm-clearly-better-than-you-at-probably-everything-with-the-skillset-to-show' kind of look. This guy, feathers and all, was clearly Kuroo's type. 

Civilians and a nearby officer start to approach Kuroo, who was now sitting on the side pavement covered in only a few cuts. Did this angel...save him?

"Are you alright? I've called the ambulance son, why don't you stay still and---"

"Ambulance? Ugh, we don't have time for this. I'm probably interfering more than regulation dictates but, you should say you're alright, it was an accident and you weren't paying attention. Tell him uh...you, you were just nervous! You were on your way to an interview and--" 

Kuroo cuts off the angel right there and looks straight at him,"Whoa there pal! I don't know who you think you are but Kuroo doesn't get nervous about anything!"

Tsukishima covers his mouth as the onlookers now start to whisper among eachother.

"Is that fellow talking to himself? He must be crazy..."

"My oh my, so young too...did you see, he tried to jump!"

"That young man is talking to himself right after he jumped in front of that truck? Sounds like he belongs in a hospital to me..."

Among all the noise Kuroo hears something else,"Y-You can...actually see me physically...?" Tsukishima asks.

"Huh? Well duh. Wait, why are they calling me crazy...? You're right there! Hey are you all blind or wh---"

Kuroo is now being pulled away in a different direction by the weird blonde. It's quiet for the first time in Kuroo's normally busy brain. Right now the only thing on it, admittedly, is this angel.

"Hey so, I don't usually give a crap of someone like you is pulling me into an alley or something but like, seriously, what's your deal? Or could I at least get your name?" he finally asks after being dragged off a good distance away from his original spot.

The angel looks around carefully to make sure that they were in the clear of any more potential trouble before saying speaking up

"Congratulations Kuroo Tetsurou" he begins," My name is Tsukishima Kei, and I am your designated guardian angel meant to guide you into the path of a proper destiny. Too bad the first day I arrive to see you trying to end it early but, just another stupid human mistake, I can work around this. I can work around anything. "

Shaking his head Kuroo can't believe the words he's hearing out of this beautiful stranger's lips. Sure his mother was into this kind of thing and admittedly during the beginning of this sick process he prayed once but seriously? This was actually happening right now, for real? It wasn't the result of too much shit he may have taken to relax for a test or him being like really, really sick without completely realizing it? 

"Well fuck..."


	2. "...This is Kuroo's friend?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brokuto arrives to cheer up Kuroo after his incident and Tsukishima starts getting a much clearer picture about who he is

This certainly wasn't the first gorgeous stranger he had in his apartment but Tsukishima certainly was the most...invisible (and angelic). Still out of it, Kuroo ends up dropping his keys right as he puts them to the doorknob. 

"Are you alright? I was told by your file you were pretty mouthy, was that information dated? You haven't spoken much since we left the alley. Perhaps when I get back I'll have to file a report with the investigatory branch." Tsukishima says, arms folded.

Picking up the keys and unlocking the door he shakes his head. "N-Nah it's fine. I-I mean I'm fine! Angels being real, me nearly dying, you having fucking feathers and being visible? It's fucking perfect!" 

Sighing, Tsukishima snaps his fingers and the aforementioned wings are now gone leaving Kuroo starry-eyed in amazement and starts talking a million miles an hour. "W-Wait? You can make them disappear? Are your feathers capable of reflecting light? Some bird patterns are meant to act as camouflage so maybe angels just end up taking that a step further? Can you continuously change or remove certain parts of how I'm perceiving you? Like could you just snap your fingers and BAM insta-makeover? Talk about amazing poss--"

"Okay, okay stop talking! Guess they were right after all. But usually I never need to worry about physical appearances when I'm down here. I've never exactly heard of a human capable of seeing angels either..."

Closing the door behind after Tsukishima comes in, Kuroo is surprised at that statement."Wha? But you see stories online or in the news every now and again about people who say they've---"

Cut off again, Tsukishima laughs. "And you believe those people? Here I thought you were rational and intelligent. Though I guess for someone who just attempted suicide moments ago, what can I expect."

That insult was a number of steps too far. The angel knew he shouldn't have said something so cruel and expectantly Kuroo got very upset."I don't have to take that from you. You said you're supposed to be a guide right? Well, if I have some grand destiny, mister perfect angel here must have come down from the heavens with a cure that years of human science and engineering couldn't come up with. You know, so this stupid and irrational human wouldn't pull something like that again." Granted Kuroo originally thought that holier than thou personality came off kinda hot at first but the constant insults were now officially getting old.

"Wait, what? Cure? Y-You're...ill? None of this was mentioned in the scroll! Dammit Akiteru...No one has the authority to alter or leave out those kinds of important details b-but..." Biting his lip, the angel takes a slow inhale before talking to the human again.

"My apologies Kuroo, I wasn't given such notice about your condition. I'm going to send a communication to management to see about what's going on but my job still stands. And that means you're staying alive. My words were cruel, and I sincerely apologize for insulting you." Unsure how to start over, Tsukishima's honey eyes find a number of pictures in the room; most of them with what appeared to be considered happy memories."These pictures I see with you and your family...they clearly love you, May I ask, do you love them?"

Kuroo immediately responds,"Of course! For years it was just me and my mother, I'm about to get a doctorate in bio chemistry but she still calls all the time and I---"

"So then, at least for her sake; please continue to live. You have **someone** on your side Kuroo and I can tell you right away that is a lot more than most of the living end up with. I realize that my words likely don't mean much considering our new relationship and my experience of life is a tad dated but someone like you I'm sure isn't exactly the type to give up on ANYTHING very easily."

Not even an hour together and Tsukishima was reading Kuroo like he was an open book. Looking at the framed photo the angel had his eyes on moments ago, he curses to himself.

"I seriously fucked up, didn't I? Oh man, I was so ready to throw it away like she didn't matter or like I---"

Tsukishima didn't want to further push Kuroo back with that wave of incoming guilt. It would just make him go backwards and that wasn't what he needed currently so the angel instead brings up another suggestion. "That's enough. The fact you were willing to admit your moment of weakness to me means you want to move forward which is all you should focus on, alright? Humans need rest and after what just happened I believe you deserve a nap."

"A nap? ...Seriously?" Kuroo chuckles as he considers the idea while Tsukishima gave him a stern look. Hands up, Kuroo surrenders to the demand. "Okay, okay. I give. B-But uh, I know it might seem strange but could you sit with me for a bit until I fall asleep? We don't have to talk but I sort of...need the company right now."

"H-Hm? Ah, right I'm stuck here indefinitely anyways but I suppose as long as this doesn't become t-too much of a regular habit I can go along with it." Tsukishima hesitantly agrees with the stipulation and sits at a nearby desk beside Kuroo's bed. The idea of eye contact felt odd so the angel finds his attention drift at the varying objects around the room. Certificates, awards, a few trophies too; clearly an overachiever. Even from the information Tsukishima read prior to his arrival, Kuroo already seemed like his destiny was going well. Good choices, a promising future, why would he need any help? But then again the angel's first action upon seeing Kuroo was having to save him. This entire situation was unlike any of his other jobs so just what exactly was happening right now? 

No human was ever capable of seeing guardian angels because of numerous potential conflicts. Children were sometimes an exception to this rule with their overactive imaginations but thankfully that imagination often blended truth with their desire for a friend so there wasn't any rules broken. But Kuroo as it appeared,seemed like Tsukishima was the first angel he'd been able to see. If this hadn't been a long possessed ability then...

Did Tsukishima cause this? There were a number of records among angels who had to do an emergency rescue of their charge but certainly nothing with an after effect like his. A symptom of his aforementioned illness, perhaps? Granted people with certain diseases had hallucinations but this didn't fit that description either. Left to wonder and with no angels answering his messages the blonde angel leans his head on his arm. Taking a glance at Kuroo, he can see the human had quickly nodded off, exhaustion still painted clearly on his face. 

"Akiteru wasn't kidding. This guy really is going to be a challenge. Maybe I can find another guardian to ask for advice when I'm out with him again, I'm sure I'll meet up with at least one sometime." On the desk Tsukishima sees a large and messy pile of papers with what appeared to be complicated formula compounds. "He's clearly got a good head on his shoulders for a human but that stupid personality of his..." 

Thinking on his future Tsukishima comes to a conclusion; If Kuroo becomes an angel he'd likely be unquestioningly popular. Likely given top tier assignments with his clear ability to solve difficult problems quickly, the other angels would adore him. Another perfect specimen and unlike Tsukishima, probably given all sorts of recognition and praises. The angel couldn't help but feel slightly jealous and this guy wasn't even cold yet.

"Ugh, just make it through this like you always do Kei."

\----

The angel nearly jumps when he hears a sudden loud banging at the entrance. Of course his charge was completely conked out, snoring away and probably wouldn't hear a lion roaring if it was in there.And although he was forbidden to technically interact unless Kuroo was in some sort of immediate danger, the angel still readied himself to see who it was at the door.

"Oi! C'mon Kurooooooooo, you weren't on campus and you haven't answered my texts all daaaay! Open uppppp!" The name voice on the other side whines. Who the hell was this guy? He did realize that Kuroo has neighbors in the other apartments, right?

Looking through via spy hole through the door, Tsukishima is able to see the man start attempting a searching his bag for keys. 

"What the hell is with that shitty dye job? Why would any human think that is passable for good-looking? Figures he'd have loud and annoying friends too...but I guess it'll be good for someone else to speak with Kuroo besides just me." The angel then unlocks the door with a wave of his hand and the stranger tilts his head. 

"Huh? That was weird. Maybe I broke it by accident again from the earlier shaking? Ugh, great job Bokuto, now Kuroo's gunna make you buy another doorknob..." After taking his shoes off, Bokuto makes a mad dash to his friend's room. Upon seeing him asleep, the other immediately starts to snicker and Tsukishima watched with a raised eyebrow. Technically he was supposed to interact as _minimally_ as possible.

Jumping onto both the bed and his friend at the same time with one big leap, Kuroo wakes up with a shock. "What the fuck is wrong with you Ts--Oh! Shit, oh my god Bo you fucking gave me heart attack you ASSHOLE!" 

"Yeah, I can tell. But you totally deserve it man! You left me on campus all ALONE, I could have died of loneliness right in front of that new underclassmen you got under your wing!"

".....I thought you were coming to visit me and not to bitch and moan about Akaashi for the 87th time. You've been hounding me about him for how long now?"

"Y-Yeah but can you blame me man? Have you seen his thesis material? Or even those gorgeous eyes? They look like rivers for goodness sake and that voice...He's got me bad man. Like weak-kneed middle school crush bad. It's disgusting." Bokuto sighs, rolling around in the bed.

Kuroo rolls his eyes. "You know what's even more disgusting? Hearing you talk like this. I've seen you manage to get that uh...you know, the girl from the Sport's Management division?"

"Yea, Kyoko was amazing. Probably smarter than you, and ten times more attractive but there wasn't that much chemistry y'know?" 

"Uh huh. Sure she just, I don't know maybe happened to realize that behind those perfect biceps and confidence that maybe you're actually a big baby?"

As Kuroo laughs and Bokuto fights back such a ridiculous accusation with a series of painful pinchings, Tsukishima watches from the doorway. These two were clearly close, any one could tell that with just being around them for a few seconds. And being able to see Kuroo relax and really laugh was much better than the earlier alternative.

"Soooo seriously Kuroo, what's the deal? How come you ditched? I thought you had something new going on with all the time you were spending in the lab lately." Bokuto finally asks. 

"Hm? I'm fine Bo, just uh case of the blues I guess." Kuroo answers,"Now that you're here though...even if I was still feeling like garbage, it's impossible to feel like that with my bro here." That last bit of praise has Bokuto beaming now.

"Well congrats cause seeing you always makes me feel like good times too. Even if I'm totally jealous you get to see so much of that pretty boy undercla---"

"Oh my god Bo, I swear to God! If I have to hear any more of your pining I will throw up on you." 

"Alright I know you're serious. And after that last theme park incident I've learned my lesson...But are you at least gunna come to campus tomorrow? Or at least promise to tell me if you're playing hooky, cause that means I get to play with you!" his friend says with a bit of a pout. Clearly Bo was trying hard to pull his friend out of this case of the blues.

Bokuto Kotaro always had a very 'unique' way of showing his worry but Kuroo could always tell it came from a genuinely caring place. Heck, the last time Kuroo was bummed out they ended up at a stranger's party and after a brief fight broke out over whether or not a hot dog was considered a sandwich, the two bailed to have fun at a bar anyways. They were thick as thieves since high school but upon Bokuto's arrival Kuroo nearly forgot about the other person still technically in the room (albeit invisible). 

Technically while Bo couldn't see Tsukishima and even if Kuroo was allowed to tell his friend about the angel, his immediate response would be,"Are you high."

Suddenly Kuroo was feeling eerily self conscious about Tsukishima watching the other two interact. "I promise I'll be on campus tomorrow morning okay? It's late though...so shouldn't you get back to your place before the apartment manager locks you out on purpose again?"

"Oh shit you're right! Can you believe last time she seriously had the nerve to lie to some cops and say I was trespassing? And then when I showed them proof I loved there they just....they LAUGHED! Seriously, talk about rude." Bokuto complains, hurrying out of his friend's bed and racing to gather his things again.

"I know, I know I was there as your proof you ass. Now get out of here." Waving goodbye and with his friend firmly out of sight, Kuroo sighs and looks at Tsukishima.

"I take it you let him in? Airhead literally never is able to work the knob's lock right let alone find the 12 key copies I gave him. I've had to replace 5 door locks in three months alone with how much he tries to bust it open himself."

With a shrug Tsukishima gives a rather blunt answer,"He fit the bill of someone who'd be in your company. What's with that hair by the way..."

Kuroo laughs at the angel's question before replying. "Yeah, yeah he got that deal in high school too. See I can get away with my mop because let's face it, bed head looks fantastic on me but him? He's loved the attention so he refuses to change it. Heck, I'd bet dollars to donuts when he gets a professional job he'll still have some kind of quirk to keep him looking 'unique'. We've been close for awhile b-but anyways uh thanks...I needed his company more than I probably realized."

"Not an issue. Towards the end I noticed you started getting nervous, are you that concerned with me listening in? I can leave temporarily if you--" Kuroo grabs his hand immediately as if trying to stop him. Of course Tsukishima wasn't about to leave but the action made both blush before Kuroo lets go "I-I...sorry uh, y-you don't need to do that! B-But uh, is there at least um...can you at least make yourself visible to other people? I'll just say you're a long-time friend or something! I feel kind of guilty knowing you have to pretty much stand there looking like a loser watching someone else have fun..."

Tsukishima's eyes widen. No human had ever raised that sort of concern to him before. Kuroo wanted Tsukishima to feel...included? Well if it made Kuroo happy and as long as he was able to still keep his angelic identity and mission a secret that would be fine, right? With no angels answering his own messages he wasn't exactly sure if this was technically breaking a rule but someone would have shows up if he was.

"Mm, very well. But starting tomorrow we'regetting your destiny back on track, understood?"

Kuroo's dark eyes light up. "Yeah, yeah! Um, by the way I've been dying to ask...what exactly is my destiny?"

"Unfortunately that's not my uh, it's not my department to know that information." Tsukishima answers adjusting his glasses, clearly trying to avoid any more eye contact.

"...So you don't know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c r i e s. if nya'll can't tell i really really really really really(x1000000) love when Kuroo is portrayed more dorky versus mr tol dark and suave 24/7. i mean to me he fits SOME of that later dynamic but seeing a im a nerd myself, well there u go.
> 
> also brokuto appreciation. im sorry if he comes off as whiney-weenie but ok who HASN'T had to hear their pal pine about some gorgeous human being 9999 times and start to think "o h e m g e e please talk about something else" .....i guess now though that annoying friend is me because i tend to talk like that about my date. it's called L-O-V-E ok kuroo sheesh u'll find it soon i swear.
> 
> (for reference i'm on the hot dog ain't a sammich side btw)
> 
> ty nya'll for ur kudos n kind words btw i really do appreciate it.


	3. A private performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> discussing with the angel on how his days work, Kuroo says that as long as Tsukishima can agree to be visible and show off an old talent, he can come and see for himself what campus and Kuroo's life is actually like.

With the help of his earlier nap combined with an energy drink, Kuroo was able to answer tons of Tsukishima's questions throughout the night. By the end Kuroo felt weird since he was sharing all of this info about himself but knew next to nothing about the angel who was going to be playing the role of his 'friend' officially as of tomorrow.

"S-So think you've got a good idea about what I'm supposed to accomplish or whatever with my life?" Kuroo asks while reading the earlier messages he refused to look at via his laptop. "More or less. I'm thinking it might have something to do with you and coming up with a medical breakthrough. From the awards, papers and your friend earlier it's quite clear you're dedicated to it."

"Medical...breakthrough? Like...curing myself? Oh, man that would be amazing. Solving an impossible problem and getting to help so many others, yeah I guess that pretty much fits the exact description of what we're looking for." Thinking about the numerous possibilities of such a future makes his brain shoot out a ton of different thoughts. One of them he stupidly blurts out.

"How am I going to tell my other friends or fellow graduates about you?"

"Oh, you said I was to be your friend...I nearly forgot about that myself with all the questions. Hm, well I'm certainly not about to become a loud mouth like...what did you call him again, Airhead?"

"You think that's the worst I've called Bo? But nah, I wouldn't expect you to. Even if it sometimes a little much uh, your honesty is a good trait. You shouldn't change it or any part of you for that matter, people would see right through it." Tsukishima looks at Kuroo, he liked his honesty? Other angels and even his charges usually distanced themselves fairly quickly upon realizing Tsukishima's often brutal truths. In the beginning of their meetings, he never intentionally meant to hurt others' feelings. Far from it in fact. But after being an angel for so long he just wanted to get his jobs done effectively and speaking the truth was necessary for that. But the truth was usually cold and not always likeable.

Of course everyone else eventually thought that too, because while among the heavens Tsukishima Kei was known for being an accomplished guardian angel--he was also colder than ice personality wise.

Sure, a few individuals would say they appreciated his honesty or open-ness too (including Akiteru), but Tsukishima wasn't a fool. Either they were kidding themselves and felt pity, or would eventually tire of him with time. Those two truths unfortunately likely made his personality issues worse over time and even led to a general distrust of companionship. Tsukishima was, and always would be independent.

Eventually Kuroo would likely take back that praise just like everyone else but for now Tsukishima accepted the compliment.

"You assume my acting would be that bad?" The angel asks.

"Not necessarily. It's just, anyone even an idiot can usually tell when someone is trying too hard y'know? Still..getting people to believe I made friends with someone like you. I guess I can always say we met at a party and hooked up."

"Please don't." Finding Kuroo's phone, the angel seemed a bit mesmerized by it.

Taking notice of this, Kuroo chuckles. "So when's the last time you were uh, down here in the 'earthly trenches' so to speak? 'Cause from what I can tell it's been awhile if you've never used a smart phone."

Tsukishima pays the insult no mind. "We use similar working objects like this one to communicate amongst fellow angels. Although ours don't have...this attached." he explains holding out Kuroo's earlier used headphones. They weren't exactly those fancy-pants branded ones but they got him through most days and played decent so he didn't care.

"Whoa, seriously? Then get ready pal, I am about to blow your mind. Welcome, my friend, to the world of digital music." Unlocking his phone rather quickly, Kuroo scrolls through a few playlists. This guy probably wouldn't be into something overly loud or pop sounding, maybe some indie bands would be better? Settling on a playlist, he starts it up and sets the headphones on Tsukishima. At first he was about to object but within a few seconds Kuroo sees the angel actually relax a little.

When the song list ends, the angel takes off the headphones. "It's been a long time since I heard music. But like that with those...things on....it's weird. How do you describe it?" Tsukishima asks.

"Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about. Well, when I'm out walking or in the lab or doing whatever, with the headphones on and the right song it's like you...forget. For me I don't think about an assignment deadline or me being sick and for once stuff is actually quiet in my head for a moment, but I also get a weird sense of focus. Is that what you're thinking?"

Thinking about Kuroo's answer and how he expressed it, that description was pretty dead on. For those passing minutes as those songs played and even with Kuroo there it was oddly soothing. Nothing else but the music.

"Yeah...I guess it is."

"Well there we go! I've totally got the b-e-s-t backstory! We met at a concert!" Kuroo says, a bit proud.

"...A bit simplistic. But not too awful I suppose. When I was a human I played acoustic guitar. Just as a hobby though." That was probably the first time Tsukishima revealed something that wasn't related to his job or how this destiny stuff worked. It was something personal.

"Whoa, really? Oh man, I've got to hear you play sometime! Oh, oh, the music department has some general use ones, I'll ask if you can borrow it for a little!"

"It's been a long time, I won't play as well as before but I suppose of you must hear, the deal is you'll tell me how your university schedule is though in return for a free ticket to my _exclusive_ performance."

Did the angel seriously just make a joke? Holy crap that was kinda cute. Letting out this almost obnoxiously loud but genuine laugh, Kuroo accepts. "Okay, okay deal."

The late morning started with a quickie cup of coffee combined with the usual routine. Tsukishima waited patiently and watched as his charge moved about the apartment rather quickly. Gathering the pile of papers on his desk and quickly putting them into a binder, he stuffs everything along with the laptop in a backpack.

"Alright Tsooks, ready to roll!" Kuroo announced holding the door for the other to pass through.

"Did you seriously just call me that. I didn't become an angel to hear a human ever---"

Cutting Tsukishima off with a finger to his lips, Kuroo smiles. "Hey, hey, you yourself said no spoilers to anyone ever about you having feathers soooo congrats there Glasses, technically you're in my world; the world of the living and visible."

Folding his arms and frowning, the angel feels annoyed. Here he was supposed to be the guiding one and now he had to be re-taught about being human, an experience he really wanted to forget. Kuroo was clearly going to be the most difficult of his collective jobs. All the weird demands and the fact Tsukishima still wasn't able to contact anyone. Not even Akiteru...

The human world was clearly a lot more busier than he remembered, no wonder so many demons were being born of their chaos, give seconds in the street and Kuroo was having to take him by the hand so he wouldn't get lost.

This is so humiliating Tsukishima thinks. No wonder angels were always invisible, having to re-integrate into what was likely an entirely new time and place would be difficult for anyone! "Alriiiight! We made it!" Turning to see the angel's face, Kuroo could see his embarassment at being confused. All these sudden new rules and new technologies were freaking him out right? It was one thing to have to save someone and walk around when you technically weren't there but actually physically being present...maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Shaking his head Kuroo grabs his phone and hands it to Tsukishima with the headphones attached.

"You remember how it worked right? Just listen and uh, keep following me alright? Put it on pause if you see me talking though." Again Kuroo places the headphones on like he was placing a crown.

He's treating me like some sort of delicate object or a small child. The pampering is a nice change of pace compared to my usual treatment so I guess I'll let him continue... Tsukishima was aware that he was likely breaking a rule with getting too personal but nothing bad happened yet, right?

Another walk inside and an elevator ride later, the two arrive at the lab. "Gimme two seconds okay? I gotta tell the doc who you are. He encourages us to share our research and educate friends as much as possible but I gotta tell him first okay?" Waiting again, Tsukishima watches other students pass by, most in lab coats, wait why didn't Kuroo have his? Maybe it was already stuffed in that roughed up looking backpack of his? Lots of the students looked drained or stressed. When the angel first met Kuroo, he noticed that about him too but peeking through the window he could see Kuroo look happy which was reassuring.

This was his world. And earlier when Tsukishima asked Kuroo about all this bio chem stuff he got so absorbed into his explanations. Kuroo was loud and even a tad childish but what he was learning made his true personality shine. Exiting the lab Kuroo waves for the angel to come inside.

There's a few other people in the lab as well besides Kuroo and the doctor (Kuroo explained earlier that apparently this man led the department and had to oversee all of the big research or studies). A few of them already working on their experiments but two of them looking in particular were looking very annoyed at Kuroo.

The first was a slightly younger looking man with pitch black hair and eyes like rive---wait, that description sounded so familiar. This must be that Akaashi fellow that Bokuto was going on about. Well he certainly wasn't kidding with that physical appearance, he really was quite attractive. Even though his hair looked a bit unkept (Not nearly as much as Kuroo's), the air around Akaashi felt a lot more lax in comparison to the two loud humans Tsukishima already had seen.

"Start talking. No messages, no replies, not even a call? That's so unlike you Kuroo, we were concerned." Akaashi says.

"Man you too? Between the earful I got from Bo and now this, man I guess I'm more popular than I realized."

The next 'attack' came from a smaller girl with light brown (nearly orange)hair, pulled up ever so neatly with an accessory made to look like a cat. She proceeded to gently faux punch the much taller Kuroo. "You're the worst! I had to actually ask BOKUTO if you were alright! You know how much of a big blockhead he is? And getting a straight answer out of him is impossible!"

"Ah, okay I get it! I'm sorry Yachi, really. Akaashi too, I owe you both the biggest apologies. I'm your upperclassmen and I set a bad example with not being honest and open. But I promise I'm alright now and I'm sorry for making you two worried." Kuroo pats Yachi's head, and Akaashi sighs, accepting his apology with the form of snark.

"Kuroo, keep patting her head like that and even if we manage to come up with something to improve her height, it'll never work. For your sake though I guess I'll have to forgive you, Yachi and I have both known for enough to realize that you working by yourself is impossible. You'd be lucky to get anything done."

Working alone, impossible? Guess Kuroo was more similar to Bokuto than he'd like to admit. The light-haired young lady nearly bounces along as she eyes Tsukishima.

"Whoaaaa! Is this who you bailed out on us for? I never thought I'd ever meet someone who was taller than you. He's like....a handsome giant!" It felt so out of place being included but even Akaashi gets in on it too.

"Heh. She thinks you're _ugly_ Kuroo."

"What the heck! I bring Bo here ONCE and Yachi still complains about him but I bring Tsukishima and suddenly I'm ugly? Low blow! I guess compared to him I do look pretty plain. But of course perfect pretty model-to-be Akaashi wouldn't know anything about that now would he?" Kuroo says poking Akaashi's cheek.

Rolling those aqua eyes, Akaashi stops in front of the angel to shake his hand. "I don't know why anyone besides us, even though we're technically forced to be around eachother, would willingly be around Kuroo long term but it is still very nice to meet you."

As Tsukishima returned the handshake an unfamiliar feeling caught him by surprise. He'd touched other himans, varying physical objects, even other angels and yet something about Akaashi...

Before being able to question any further, Kuroo pulls Tsukishima away and promptly starts describing their various research projects. Kuroo of course spoke with enough passion and was able to make every dry fact seem like an adventurous discovery. Both underclassmen occasionally cutting to further add in details and show off examples via their experiments, it was clear to the angel that these three were incredibly talented and highly intelligent. By the end of Tsukishima was speaking more openly than before.

"You seriously met Tsuki at a concert, AND HE PLAYS? Please tell me we can hear you some time? Kuroo can't hog you all to himself y'know, you're clearly way too cool for just him!" As Yachi continues to gush over him, Akaashi can see a hint of jealousy in Kuroo's eyes. Was Kuroo not expecting Tsukishima to be more engaged? Or maybe he was feeling a little possessive?

Taking his upperclassmen to the side for a moment, he gets straight to the point. "You don't usually bring company. What's his deal? Trying to show off? Something serious happened didn't it..."

"Always a step ahead for my new genius underclassmen, hm? I won't lie, a part of me did want to show him off around the campus but now that I see him in a different setting, talk and laughing with us like this...Akaashi, what would you do if uh, you were trying to make someone who's normally distant get closer? Just as a hypothetical question of course." Kuroo asks, his slight crush slowly starting to blossom.

"Someone who's distant?" Akaashi thinks go a moment before deciding to meddle in,"Be patient and take it piece by piece. But you know, you don't need to try as hard as you think. He really likes hearing you speak already so whatever you've been doing just keep at it."

"W-Wha? N-No man it's not like that, we haven't known eachother that long but I did talk about a few things with him I never really assessed or thought about personally..." Shaking his messy head, Kuroo completely denies it. "It's not as big as you're thinking I'm making it. I just, it's...nice seeing him be so vocal. But it would be nice to see him like this one on one."

Shrugging Akaashi starts picking up his bags. "Whatever pal. Oh and here. The department lead wanted me to give this personally since the stain you put in the last one was a, and I quote "complete shit show." And I swear he said it just like that."

Kuroo quickly opens up what Akaashi's handed him. "A NEW COAT!? Wow Bo was right, you are amazing..."

"Wait, Bo...said something about me? Every time we pass in the halls he barely manages out a sentence at alone---"

"Whoops, spoiler alert." Kuroo turns his attention back on Yachi who was currently chatting Tsukishima's ear off. "Well sorry lil lady, but I have a prior arrangement with Glasses here. Sorry to steal back my friend but, y'know~" Taking Tsukishima by the hand once more, he sticks his tongue out at Yachi and with the two saying their last "Bleeeehs" together, Kuroo is finally free to be alone again with his guardian angel.

"So you work in the lab all day with those two? You all seem so happy. It's a...good look on you." Tsukishima says quietly while following Kuroo. "After the stuff you said before and after thinking really hard on it, even if I'm going to get really sick, you're right. Dying alone and leaving them to question whether or not that could've done something different or whatever....I would never want my burden to be placed in the people I care about. So uh, sorry I made your first day on the job so difficult with that stuff."

That's right, if something didn't change Kuroo's health would decline and he'd likely die anyways. But for their sake this human, Kuroo, was willing to put aside that oncoming pain for those happy memories. The angel was no stranger to human tenacity, strength or kindness, heck he himself proved that by becoming an angel but this one...

"Two days and I've already broken a number of regulations and rules all for one human. I'm clearly not the perfect angel you think I am...or I thought I was." Tsukishima admits, even now he felt so lost. Kuroo's situation was an entirely new one. Clearly he was already in the right path and yet clearly before there was enough chaos in his heart to tge point where he felt like escape from life was his only answer.

"Right, the job. Well since we'll be around each other for uh at least a little longer you did promise that private performance if I brought you here...riiiight?"

Lost in his thoughts, Tsukishima hadn't even noticed where he'd been brought: the music department. Kuroo was really serious about this stupid sort of thing wasn't he? Dishonesty and going back on your word were demonic traits and Tsukishima certainly wasn't one of those, attempting one last escape he asks,"You really got permission for me to use one of their guitars?"

"Mmmmm, more or less. Better to beg forgiveness and all that garbage right? Besides I have a friend in the music department so just...get to playing already!" Quickly setting out the instrument, he pushed Tsukishima down into his seat and hands him a pick.

Before the angel can protest any further, Kuroo is eagerly sitting infront of him, bouncing in place as he waits.

"This is going to be so bad, what am I even supposed to play?"

"Shush! Just, I dunno...play whatever! You've seen my playlists, I like almost everything so it's not like I'll be picky right?"

The angel thinks hard and closes his eyes. Tuning the instrument to his liking to bring back those early and nearly lost memories of playing as a human. The answer to Tsukishima's question about song choice comes in a wave.

Watching his pale and long fingers start to strum it's amazing because I can visually see the exact moments he recalls those memories of him playing. Tsukishima playing pace is a bit slow and cautious at first--it's like he's terrified of making a mistake in front of me. Watching him finally get comfortable, the song he plays becomes recognizable and he's actually singing. His voice is soft but now that he's gotten confident again in this acoustic skills--I'm already amazed and in awe.

He picked something familiar enough for us both so mid-song, I move my chair beside Tsukishima and sing with him. If anyone else was in the room with us or heck even in the hall they'd probably be wondeing if someone's cat was dying. My singing voice is terrible compared to Tsukishima's but for the next few minutes I don't want to care. I just want to be here in the moment.

When he finishes he looks right through those thick frames of his and says with a small smile.

"I can see why you're in biochemistry and not a rockstar."

"Yea," I say, helping put away everything before security comes to kick us out. I wouldn't be surprised of someone in the building overheard it saw us through a window and snitched so likely they were on the way. I'm not going to tell that though, instead I'll shoot him a compliment. "Well I guess there's a reason angelic is sometimes used to describe people who...actually can sing."

Before Tsukishima is able to hide that stupidely perfect face of his from me I was able to see just for a moment that he turned red.

Thinking to myself it hits me officially. _"He saved my life, we've barely gotten to know each other but...fuck...I really want him to stick around. And I want to live longer. I know I'm his job or whatever but shit I'm clearly going to hell after all this..."_

I think I like him more than I should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLERGH it ended up being really long but to I care? No. Why? Because I wanted to set up the beginning of their love dynamic and I WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT ;;;
> 
> idk if nya'll are vocaloid fans but DECO*27 has an oldish album called Decoustic (acoustic self sang remixes of his old works) and I got a lot of insp for this chapter on that.
> 
> story time, while I was waiting on campus for a ride security got pissed as feck at me once because I used the same outlet to charge my laptop as the soda machine (there was one open and it wasn't like I unplugged the soda machine + I was attempting to finish some hw). it's kinda notorious around our campus that the security guards are asses and completely crazy about their rules but that was legit the first time I'd gotten yelled at.
> 
> oh so incase u cant tell i tend to type on my phone then import chapters via my drive so if u guys are seeing my terrible spell errors or html looking weird thats why. It's cause I was us in my phone
> 
> ty always for readingggg


	4. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tsukishima finally starts getting some help, it wasn't quite what he expected

Three months together and the pining from the guardian and his charge was so obvious anyone and everyone could plainly see it. 

Today however, the pair was on a joint outing with Akaashi and Bokuto (who begged Kuroo to come out of fear he'd fuck up in front of his crush) and they decided for a bit of R&R they would all go to Kuroo’s old family beach house for a few days. 

The week prior, Kuroo watched his long-time friend clean out his car thoroughly for the first time literally ever. Clearly, he was in love because even with prior relationships the best they’d get from the loud Bokuto was maybe a single clean seat. Overall though Kuroo of course was no better. His days lately with the angel so far were magical and trying to keep the flirting to a minimum was beyond impossible.

"So Tsooks, when you were alive did you ever date? Or uh, go on a date? Have a crush? That kind of thing?" Kuroo asked on the eve of their meetup.

"N-No. I wanted to but um it was a different time and even then, I never really had an interest in girls." The angel admits, scrolling through Spotify via his recently bought phone. "My parents didn't understand, they wanted another proper son like my brother. Granted I never got punished but I certainly wasn't exactly the popular and well-loved son either. I always got the weirdest looks from them after I said I was gay." 

Seeing Tsukishima look saddened, Kuroo quickly changed the subject. "Well then, looks like your romantic information might be dated so that means this is yet another thing I totally get to teach you allllll about."

The angel grumbles and rolls his honey colored eyes. From learning how to properly use smart phones and how "amazing" the internet is, Kuroo had already taught him so much to the point it was embarrassing. But the angel liked it. All the things the modern world offered (including the other humans he'd been introduced to) were much more pleasant than anything during his time of being alive or in the heavens. As an angel he never made friends and none of his previous jobs were ever like this...

Three months in and Tsukishima had obtained no new status updates from the heavens, but so far Kuroo seemed to be doing well and the path to securing another angel and a ripple effect destiny seemed inevitable.

"Alright remember, we're basically going as Bo's wingmen. And no that's not an intentional angel joke I swear." 

"Good because if it was it would be a terrible one. Bokuto seems quite confident when he's around you...But tell me, why does he turn into a babbling mess even at the mere mention of Akaashi? There's certainly nothing to be afraid of. Akaashi is quite relaxed but is even willing to call out his upperclassmen in his mistakes. He should be respected not feared if you ask me." Tsukishima states, of course he was looking at their situation like just another job Kuroo noted.

"Yeah, yeah but listen you're looking at this through nerdy-angel glasses and not in-love rose colored ones. This was before you came so I don't think I ever explained how Bo got this bad.” Pulling out his own phone and scrolling through the gallery, Kuroo pulls up a picture that shows him appearing to give a speech, but behind him there’s more.

Once he zooms in you can see Bokuto and Akaashi look happy as could be talking to eachother.

“He's dated before lots of times and whatnot, heck we've even messed around before after a couple of drinks but we're friends so in the morning it was always just a 'Oh well no biggie see ya later tonight' thing. But one day after being dumped he ends up following me around like a puppy for the 10th time, and of course it’s my job to give the mandatory 'Cheer up bro' speech...except that particular day I couldn't. That day was our biggest presentation of the entire semester and I oversaw the speech. I didn't have time to be a friend but Bokuto seriously needed someone to talk with so I asked Akaashi to just put up with his whining until after the presentation. I figured if he just listened Bo would be fine. Well la di da, I finish the presentation and come out to see Akaashi still consoling but by then it was too late; and Bo was crushing bad. Since then Bo hasn't shut up about it but the minute he's within visual range or you talk about Akaashi he, as you said becomes a mess."

The angel attempts to analyze the strange scenario. So, someone else was finally kind enough to care about Bokuto because he was asked to by Kuroo but Bokuto is taking things way too seriously. That must have been why Kuroo agreed to this double date in the first place. He didn't want this to get any worse. He still needed to work with Akaashi in the lab and of course he still wanted to be friends with Bokuto but if this dragged on any further or became ugly, well, it was always better to rip the band-aid off faster versus slowly.

“I love Bo a lot, and Akaashi is fuckin’ genius but me and you are just there to make sure it doesn’t get crazy, fair enough?”

"Fair enough.” Tsukishima answers,”...So then tell me then about this date protocol I'm apparently supposed to have."

"Bo...no Koutarou is for sure going to say something completely ridiculous. We're not going to call him out on it, okay. Let those two have their date. Us? Just another outing. If possible make Koutarou look good but don't oversell, if anything is supposed to happen, it'll have to happen because of his own merits. Akaashi himself is a brilliant individual so he'll be able to tell right away if something's up." 

Noting Kuroo change to first names has him curious and Tsukishima pushes a bit further after hearing Kuroo explain that. "May I ask...if it was you dating, what would you do?" 

"O-Oh uh, erm." Kuroo thinks for a moment before answering, "I've never really I mean...like...a few dates in high school, of course a decent number of casual hook ups but someone serious? Nah. I've uh, I mean I'd probably be like Koutarou in this situation too. Awkward as fuck, trying seriously too hard, ugh. I get Secondhand embarrassment just thinking about what could happen."

Although able to sense that his charge was probably trying to dodge his original question, Tsukishima moves onward. "So, what do people do at these group dates anyways?" 

"Remember that Airhead dumbass is gunna be a nervous wreck and the only temporary cure for that is one thing; fucking liquor and probably attempting a late night skinny dipping."

The angel stays quiet trying to absorb those two possibilities. Yeah, that definitely sounded like Bokuto alright."...Your friend is weird. But the beach air will be good for your health and I'm not exactly permitted to leave you alone anyways so I guess we're seriously doing this beach thing huh?"

"Hope you can poof up some prescription goggles with that Angel magic of yours."

\-----

 

The drive itself was long but even more painfully quiet. It seemed like poor Bokuto was throwing out 20 fishing hooks--trying very hard to catch Akaashi on one. 

Jokes fell flat, past stories about Kuroo being a complete dumbass didn't do squat. Sure, Akaashi would chuckle or comment but nothing really stuck. As they approach their destination, Bo and Kuroo offer to take up everyone's bags.

Pulling his friend to the side Kuroo grumbles, "Dude I get it. The pining hurts but chill out man. Try to show, you know that serious side or whatever I see every now and again. Because you're trying way too hard."

"I'm really bombing this if I'm getting pining advice from my best friend who has it just as bad. Seriously man the minute you introduced Tsukishima to me I could tell, why haven't you confessed?"

Kuroo wasn't about address that subject just yet, especially with his last remaining peaceful university days on the line. "Focus on you Koutarou. He already thinks you're decent enough if he's willing to take a long ass car trip for the beach, right? Just relax. Otherwise these next few days are going to drive us all into the ocean."

"Relax...." Bokuto repeats continuously as he carries the luggage up a small flight of stairs.

\--

Leaving Tsukishima alone with Akaashi, the angel hears unexpected words come from the other. "You're violating a ton of rules y'know that?"

"Hm?"

"You, staying down with him and playing whatever game, you're playing. I've seen how this scenario ends, trust me it won't be pretty." Akaashi says, stretching his arms while a sleeve from his tank top starts sliding off.

Honey colored eyes get wide as the realization hits Tsukishima. "You're...an angel too? Who's your charge? It's so good to finally be able to speak with ano---"

Akaashi holds up his index finger to silence the angel who suddenly got so excited "Whoa, easy Glasses. I'm no angel. Nephilim, so probably worse."

"N-Nephil....s-so then you're a hybrid?! T-Then how did you know about my situation? I was told your kind are forbidden from ever participating in angelic business."

Akaashi shrugs and looks at the ocean view nearby, "I've been at this for some time and I have a good head on my shoulders. Hell, I've been living with humans my entire life after all. But when Kuroo introduced me to you at the lab I could tell pretty much immediately who and what you were. Making yourself visible for **his** comfort, getting this close to a charge, letting him guide you with advice...? You're playing way past fire at this point."

The angel barely had time to register what the Nephilim was saying before he’s having to defend himself.

"It's not like that!" Tsukishima corrects, "I have to follow him constantly, I'm learning about where his life is at so---"

"We both know that's a lie, Kei. Listen, far be it for me to judge considering I'm a human and angel hybrid but just listen to me okay? Whatever his fate is, don't forget that your only job is to watch him die. There's nothing beyond that, and your job is done the moment that happens. I saw him messing with some complicated medical stuff before you arrived and I assume that no one's been responding to your communications?"

Tsukishima nods hastily, "Do you happen to know why? It's been months and I---"

"There is no cure for him Kei. He has to go. All of them, all of them disappear and your job is to just make sure they go the correct way. Did you forget that? When we first met I noticed you'd at least attempt to keep your distance but I've seen you hold his hand on campus, laugh with him, plus in the car you even slept on his shoulder. I wasn't able to stop my parents from their fate and your situation is obviously a little different but after he dies, you know what happens to the memories of their guardians right?"

Gulping, Tsukishima stares at the sand before answering, "....They lose them..."

Tsukishima and Akiteru as angels retained no memories of just who set them down their so called decent path to the heavens. No angel ever remembered who it was, perhaps to keep influencing equal for demons as well. And if an angel ever told their former charges who they were the punishment was that they'd become fallen and forced to live as demons.

A truly horrid and cruel reality that up until now Tsukishima Kei had zero problems with. But this one. This job, this human was so different from the others. And even if he was forced to watch the other meet his fate, at the very least...In the afterlife why couldn't Kuroo keep those memories? Maybe then, maybe then they could---

"I see you getting misty eyed through those glasses about just thinking. Tsukishima, just let him go. Rule breaking for something like love or whatnot only ends in tragedy and a worse fate. Don't do that to yourself...or at least, don't do it to him. You know what his life in the heavens will be like right? You've seen how popular he is here but how much he suffers for it. I know you can tell how much better his life will be up there." Akaashi leans back on the vehicle and looks at his feet, "I swear I don't have a personal vendetta against you or Kuroo. Quite the opposite. A happy ending for you two, I think that would be truly wonderful. And just getting to experience something like love, even for creatures like us...it’s something else. But hearing the hell my parents went through, seeing your parallels and knowing the punishment that they suffered and the burden I still bare. Just...think hard about your decisions and what they'll lead to okay?"

As painful as his truth was, Tsukishima knew that it was still in fact the truth. Akaashi pats his shoulder and watched the other two noisy boys finally appear from putting their bags away. Bokuto himself grinning and talking like everything was fine. Kuroo too was looking like there wasn't a care in the world. But for Tsukishima, the only thing going through his mind was noise. And a lot of it. 

Was he really in love? And with a human? Was he willing to risk Kuroo's eternity? Or his own? He would become an amazing angel and yet Tsukishima found himself for the very first time despising his job. Despising being dead, despising being a so-called angel, despising everything. 

\--

While the others were getting drunk off their asses inside the beach house, the angel was at the shoreline alone, watching as the waves hit his newly painted toes (courtesy of a drunk Bo).

"Keeeeeiiiii, it's so boring without you. How come you're not with me? I thought you were supposed to be my guardian angel!" The blonde hears his charge slur out behind him.

"Ah! S-Sorry I just uh, needed air."

His shirt was gone and if the angel could guess, Kuroo original drunk intent was a night swim.

"Needed air huh? That's a total lie. You just wanted to see that, right?" Kuroo asks, pointing up at the moon.

"How did you--"

"Man, do you not know how many dang times I've watched you sneak out of my apartment to look up at the moon. You usually have that same serious expression, like you want to scream out your feelings and yet...c'mon man. I know you're supposed to be looking out for me but hey, I can listen. I'll always listen."

Again sweet Kuroo's words melt Tsukishima's heart. This selfish angel didn’t deserve to hear something like that, "...Kuroo. I know I told you we don't have to go back to that time but ah...b-before I saved you um, how bad were you?"

He chuckles before sitting beside the other,"...You're trying to confirm if I ever had plans to kick the bucket earlier you mean? I mean I guess on some level I did but, why are you asking this now?" he asks, tilting his head curiously.

Since the beginning the angel had pondered how exactly Kuroo's name got onto a scroll, if it was to the heavens benefit that he die. Sure some chaos accumulated in Kuroo's heart but up until that previous month; he had done nothing wrong. And even now the only other angel (or rather nephilim) that was giving him advice was Akaashi? Something about this felt wrong. Like they were both being played. Like this whole scenario was staged.

Shaking his head, Tsukishima answers him, "Forgive me. I just had a stupid thought, that's all. Are you able to walk back to the others without falling over or maybe I should help you ba--"

"Kei, always so considerate even though he'll never admit it, heh. Y'know if all you wanted to do was get closer we can totally do that!" The human was clearly drunk, likely to out drink his best friend but the angel helps him up anyways. A few steps however and he's tumbled back on the sand on top of Kuroo. Tha pair laugh like so many nights on that apartment couch before, once again the subject being something stupid and silly but known just to them. 

"How did you make it out to me if you can't make it this far now?" the angel asks.

"Mmmm, well that's easy. I really, really, really wanted to find you. So, I just, y'know...did." Kuroo answers, like his explanation just made complete sense. 

"Really now? C'mon, I've known you for 3 months and have had the pleasure of seeing your reactions to many different situations. Let's see...my assumption would be that you probably saw your friend and your underclassmen hooking up, right?"

"Fuuuuuck. Man. How can I ever expect to lie when you like, always know! Stupid perfect angel, always so...stupid and perfect." Drunken hands clumsily run through blonde hair. The sudden contact makes Tsuki a bit nervous, "Kuroo ah...you should really get up. If they're busy or something we'll just walk past okay? You're seriously drunk and being out here isn't good for you."

"Mmm, no way! They're probably in there fucking on the floor man! I don't wanna walk in on that, it's grooooossss! I wanna stay out here, with you, and just...look up at that big beautiful moon you like so much." Seeing the moon reflect in those dark eyes of Kuroo's made the angel's heart thump loud. 

"You're clearly drunk off your ass if you're saying mushy stuff like that but since you look pretty attractive while saying it. And knowing you won't remember this after you go to sleep, I guess we can stay here just a bit longer." Tsukishima says with a sigh. As they stared up into the big blue sky together, the angel felt content. There was no more noise. He rolls off Kuroo but he was intent on still being able to at least hold the angel's hand. An hour (or maybe longer? He couldn’t exactly tell) went by before Tsukishima turned to see Kuroo snoring away. Getting up and brushing off as much sand as he could off himself, Tsukishima carries Kuroo to the beach house and his bed. While having to use a bit of extra strength, the blonde didn't even notice his wings had made themselves visible. 

"Ah...I guess I was too busy concentrating on carrying him here versus keeping them hidd--" he stops talking when something catches his eye. His feathers, always a shimmering white now a few had a grey hue to them. Darkening feathers only meant one thing; Tsukishima Kei was becoming a fallen angel.

\----

"Kei! Kei? Can you hear me?" a familiar voice calls out to him with urgency. Opening his eyes, he suddenly sees his brother standing on front of him. "Aki...teru? Ah! I-I thought no one could hear me anymore! I've been attempting to contact you for months I-I thought that we were abandoned by the heavens or something! Ahhh, now I can go back and tell Kuroo everything is going to be alright!" Tsukishima tightly hugs the other, nearly almost about to cry 

"K-Kei. Listen to me carefully okay? I missed you a lot too but after you left, I noticed something off about this particular assignment."

Tsukishima shakes his head "Akiteru,you know my mission record it’s fi--"

"No! That's just it Tsuki. This mission, this human he’s different! Since his passing time date will be within a few months I went ahead to see which branch he'd be sent to. His name...Tetsurou Kuroo...i-it wasn't on any branch lists."

The younger blonde shook his head, "That's impossible. It must be a mistake. Maybe it just hasn't been decided where he'll go."

"Kei, you know archangels never make mistakes. They've been doing this for how long now? I think that person you're protecting, I think there's no saving him. And if you continue then..." He reached out to touch his younger brother's feathers. "It's a warning Kei. Your feathers will turn darker and darker for your punishment of being by his side until you become fallen! Please Kei, you must abandon this one. Something isn't right about his situation. But the longer you stay by his side the more you're putting yourself in danger!"

His older brother was so concerned over him. No one said anything before and it looked like Akiteru was having to use a spell to get into contact with the other, something that was reserved only for dire situations.

The younger frowns, "Why didn't anyone else say anything? What's going on up there?" Kei asked worried about him as well.

"It's bad. More stupid squabbles with those demons, there's even talk of spies using magic to disguise themselves. When you do come back, I think the protection branch is going to be dissolved. Whether it's temporary or not I can't say but, they can't spare angels precious time on humans anymore."

In only three months things had already gotten this bad between demons? 

Akiteru is surprised when his brother hugs him, "I've gotta say, I don't know what that job did to you but you've changed Kei. Like you're not afraid to have fun anymore. Like you’re not afraid to love."

"Have you been down with the humans lately Akiteru? I can't wait to tell you all the advancements they've made since we were alive."

"Oh? And now you're talking about smart humans? Man oh man what happened to my ice princess brother?"

"We'll talk again soon, I promise. Just please be careful."

The elder brother gives two more words before the spell has his figure fading away.

“You too.”

 

\----

 

Waking up, the angel gasps for breath, startling even Kuroo. "Whoa, you alright there Gl--well I guess you don't have em on so it doesn't count anymore never mind."

Reaching for his aforementioned frames, the angel thinks carefully about the sudden influx of information he's been given between the Nephilim and his older brother.

"Kuroo...tonight could we uh, talk?"

"Hm? Sure. Did you have a nightmare or something? You look so serious suddenly, here I thought you were really excited about the beach trip..." Kuroo asks. The angel shakes his head, "No, no...It's just ah...I don't want to explain it now. Tonight though I promise."

"Mmmm, if you say so. We'll do it while Airhead and Pretty Boy figure out those fireworks. It'll be a miracle of one of them doesn't blow it. Heh, get iiiiiit?~"

"I woke up to this. Unbelievable."

 

\----

 

As fireworks are being set up, Kei tells his charge everything he'd learned. About Akaashi, about what was happening in _his_ world but the angel couldn't bring himself to talk about what would happen as he continued to stay. 

"Huh...Akaashi was an angel this whole time? Poor Bo. He's got it so bad for the guy."

"I didn't know what to make of that situation, but far be it for me to judge...he’s not technically an angel though. Just something else. A being born out of a union between an angel and human. A scenario like that, I’ve pondered it bu—” Turning bright red, the angel curses to himself realizing what he just hinted at.

Of course those words have Kuroo leaning in closer trying to push it more, "Hm? Whoa, whoa! Tsukki has a crush? On a human? Spit it out Glasses, who are they?!" 

"W-What?! No just forget I---" Too late, since Kuroo was already painfully close to the angel, looking straight into him with those dark bedroom eyes. And then after the things even drunk Kuroo said the night prior.

 

The angel’s answer could go two way--he lies and maybe Kuroo lets this go. Or he tells the truth and what.

They'd live happily ever after?

No. That was impossible. If this continued his feathers would turn black and he'd be spending the rest of eternity with demons.

 

"It's nothing Kuroo, I don't want to make this weird." 

Kuroo laughs, "Late for that don't you think? We've been dancing around this too much..."

The angel turns bright red. Shit. Why did this idiot have to confirm those stupid feelings? Why couldn't he just stop talking and they could enjoy this beach trip like that intended? 

Why couldn't it **all** be different?

As tears start to form and the angel attempts to hide his face from the other, Kuroo can't hold back another moment.

"Listen Kei, I want you to know something. I haven’t explicitly ever explained my gratitude but now’s the time I think. You've been the best thing that's ever happened to me, like ever. My life was in a hole before you showed and every moment I get with you, fuck Kei...I want you, okay? And maybe you can keep looking at me as another assignment if you want but I can't." Taking Tsukishima's hand, Kuroo sees a tear fall from his cheek. There was clearly something in his mind but maybe this time talking wouldn’t be enough. 

 

After all the shit going through the angel’s mind, it felt beyond perfect when Kuroo kissed him. Such physical contact was beyond foreign but he continues following Kuroo's lead, the angel didn't feel quite so lost. 

Kuroo's tongue slips into his mouth, Tsukishima continues not to fight the advances, in fact quite the opposite. Naturally Kuroo picks up on this and he slips a hand on the other's stomach. The angel moans at the sudden touch and Kuroo pulls away. "Sorry I just, listen we don't have to keep going. Forcing you into this is fucked up but I'd understand if you want to back out."

The angel bites his lip. This was wrong. Everyone told him that but the one person who's words he resonated the most--Kuroo didn't think it was. "You...do you really, really, really want me that bad?"

Kuroo chuckles, "Um, duh. I told you how I'd be when I was in love before right? Like Bo is and never able to say it. But I couldn't take another minute being like that." 

"...Even if I'm---"

"Even if you're what? Kei Tsukishima?" Kuroo says cutting off that toxic thought. This human was so different from any other experience the angel ever had. He knew the consequences but for Kuroo, he was ready to fall.

"I never uh, I don't know what to do. You've had experience before but I never made it this far." Tsukishima admits, his face embarrassed as could be.

"Pffft, well you picked a hell of a guy for your first. But I don't know if you'll want it here." Right. The beach sand definitely wouldn't be the best environment, now would it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: has most of the chapter done a week ago and forgets to edit  
> also me: : ))) shhh it fine
> 
> LOOOOOOTS OF PLOT IN THIS CHAP BUT I WANTED TO SORT OF GET IT OUT OF THE WAY SINCE NEXT CHAP IS
> 
> S I N B I N TIME
> 
> also i was trying to decide whether or not to make a separate fic for Nephilim!Akaashi x Bokuto or like ??? i d k ;;; SORRY TOO IF IT SEEMS LIKE AKAASHI IS TOO COLD??? in reality he just doesn't wanna see his friend or poor Tsooks get hurt and suffer
> 
> like me
> 
> h a h a


	5. Not One Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally admitting their feelings--Kuroo and Tsukishima make one heck of a memory together

The angel had never been more thankful in his immortal life for humans before. Thankful for Bokuto and his family's beach house. Thankful for becoming close to humans for the first time in his career of guarding and then this--thankful for him. The messy, clumsy and aloof so called "cool" man in front of him. They were only kissing in that rather small bedroom, but one thing the angel couldn't ignore was just how much Kuroo enjoyed touching him. It had first started by holding the angel's cheek but as the minutes passed, he would go lower. Caressing Kei's skin in a way that left him pleading for more.

Lips still locked together, on purpose the angel had bitten his charge's lip in an attempt to call his attention. A visible smile and Kuroo's low voice asks oh so wickedly, "What's wrong?"

"I confess my feelings and you've been teasing me for ten minutes straight! There's more I know so w-what's taking so fucking long?" The angel hissed.

"Can't I enjoy my Kei for just a bit longer? I haven't exactly gotten to do this regularly with my symptoms so be patient won't you?" Of course. Swept up in all the emotion for this long was Tetsurou's problem. His illness.

"Right." The angel looks away, a hint of guilt in the back of his mind. "You're not fatigued right? It's been on you mentally with your burden and then me so I wasn't even thinking---"

Cut off by a kiss, the angel once more falls for Kuroo's usual charm. It was the exact scenario his brother and even the nephilim, Akaashi, had warned him about. Kuroo was supposed to die. That's how mortality worked. The whole reason Kei was even here was to guide his final time into a good destiny, and yet...there was so much more to Tetsurou Kuroo than any warning or rule could describe. But it was all those held back and built up feelings and desire that led Kei to confess and toss cold logic out for something new. Something sinful. Something exciting.

Every time he heard the angel whimper or see him flinch, Kuroo would pull away from the angel's pale skin and ask the other for confirmation. "You okay there?" Kei heard it over and over but after hearing it enough he just says it by instinct. A way to hurry his charge into...more. It becomes obvious that he knows where to go and what to do too well. With Kei's lower half and excitement completely exposed, the angel feels a rush of nerves on his back when the other had gone down on him.

Those bedroom eyes had captured Kei's attention from day one but seeing them like * _that_ * while Kuroo's mouth was on his cock would be burned in his memory for eternity. Along the angel's shaft, Kuroo dragged his tongue slowly, forcing the angel to hear every obscene sound of the forbidden act. Kei's long legs were able to reach Kuroo's upper back and as the other had bobbed his head, the angel's toes had dug in. Just this little but damn did it feel so good.

The angel's head goes back and he purrs out his charge's name,"Tetsurou..."

In response he quickens the pace, Kuroo now pumping Kei and focusing exclusively with his tongue on the head of Kei's leaking member. His other hand meanwhile? That he'd decided to use to start stretching him out. The ring of muscle being worked over while Kuroo got the angel to moan out his name.

For the angel all these sensations were better than the heavens, being touched and taken in so much by Tetsurou. It had his heart beating fast and it made him shivering with pleasure. "Fucking hell...Tetsurou...just like that!"

For Kuroo, he couldn't wait for the real deal. Kei was already reacting so well to just this, and he'd only managed a few fingers in even with the lube and stretches. But it's just enough stimulation for the angel to release, a mess of fluid now evident on Kuroo's lips and hand. As he absorbs the full rush of his orgasm, Kuroo kept up with the massage, his own lower half aching for a similar feeling.

"Oi. Don't pass out on me now Angel-san. You want the real deal right?"

"Mmm...fuck Kuroo that was already a lot on me." Kei whined out as the odd feeling of Kuroo's fingers hitting something strange washed over him. As an angel and after being dead for so long, Kei never did understand how humans got so into the act of sexual gratification. Sure mating was a thing among mortals but now, right now in the arms of his charge, he'd never experienced anything like this before. Again the angel moans out his name, breathing heavily as he feels Kuroo's finger brush against his sweet spot. That pleasure is short lived however and Kei is lost when he looked below to see him stopped.

"W-What the fuck? What did you do?"

"Just enough to get your _attention **again**_  Kei."

The angel's face heats up and turns a dark shade of red when his charge undressed. Toned muscles, an inescapable allure and honesty leave the angel quiet. Clear on Tetsurou's chest was a medium sized and visible scar close to his heart. Every now and again, whe Kei ran his fingers down, he'd feel a small scar--proof of countless pokes and prods and attempts to diagnose or cure. This man was quite young yet his body spoke the painful story and reason why he got an angel in the first place. So painful, Kei himself didn't want to look. But it's Kuroo who pulled him closer. "Kei... I'll be okay. With you here, I'm not going back to that world of being shut off and afraid. I've come so far out of that because of you. And I'm... I'm going to be okay."

Kei shakes his head. "But you're not! Right now you're dying and I--Tetsurou w-what will you do if there's really no cure? If all your work at the University meant nothing. If all the time we spend together and all these memories turn out to mean nothing?" Fuck. He shouldn't have said that sure but seeing this so obvious now...

"That's impossible though."

"What...are you talking about?"

"When we met, you told me that I had this grand something-or-another destiny right? That even if it wasn't obvious or clear or whatever...that my existence somehow mattered to something or someone in the universe. And Kei, I think, after our time together and seeing you I know that _you_  are my destiny. I can't answer how but us meeting, us falling in love, I don't think that could ever be considered meaningless." Kuroo replied. Such a stupid answer coming from someone who really knew so little about the universe but it was enough to bring Kei to tears. He was right. Ever fucking word. And even when Kuroo would lose his memories, those deep and powerful feelings would stay with his angel forever. Tetsurou Kuroo was special. And he was also the angel's first love.

"C'mon four eyes angel, crying ain't cool. What if you get me going, huh?" Kuroo asked, wiping away a few tears from Kei's cheek.

The angel shook his head again. "No I'm sorry. I...Seeing you like this. Seeing everything just, it overwhelmed me. I'm sorry a-a-and I want to enjoy this time with you. Er--I want to keep enjoying this time with you!" Just what the fuck was going on with him to end up like this, to get so emotional over one stupid human of all things...

Embraced tight, Kuroo kissed the angel's forehead.

"Fucking hell those eyes of yours get me every time..."

With raw emotions out, the pair cling to one another through that night. For the angel it was something he didn't want to ever forget, and for his foolish human lover...

It would be his final memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit that took forever and ever to update dhhdbdbddbdhejdijfrbfbfbdb sorry for the issue. I got super depressed since I wrote this chapter (and then some) but the file got axed with a phone upgrade and after that I didn't have much inspiration for it. But I'm back with it and more chaps !! Thank u all btw for the kudos n sweet comments ;; I go through them and it makes me so happy to know people are enjoying my self indulging garbage.
> 
> Next chapter gets really blue but will reach the "meat" of the plot for sure (obligated hahaha considering what this chapter is)


	6. Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A secret is revealed to Kei that changes everything for the worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gunna be a rough ride kids--buckle up for some sads

Waking up with a start, Kei rubs his tired eyes and struggled to find his frames. He'd apparently tossed them off the bed in all the passion. Once finding them he's about to make a snickering comment to his partner when the angel notices he's not there.

"Early to rise? Shocking for him..." Leaving the bedroom once he's fixed up, he heads downstairs to meet Akaashi and Bokuto who'd been chit chatting like always.

"Did Tetsurou come by?"

Bokuto narrows his eyes and laughs,"Aw c'mon don't be could there Tsuki! He was with you all night. What, are you telling me he wasn't there this morning?"

"No. He wasn't. Ah..." The angel looked to Akaashi for his answer but the other only shook his head.

"We've been up for awhile and we assumed he was with you."

A strange feeling of concern hits the angel. How could he just disappear? That couldn't be right. He heads outside and starts to search the area in a rush. The car was still there, no beach goers mentioned seeing him since the previous day...

Panicking, Tsukishima doesn't know what to do besides something drastic. He tries his previous contact attempt to reach his superior Akiteru. Granted it didn't work previously before that night he contacted him but this was a direct emergency. His charge was missing and something just felt wrong.

"Akiteru! I can't find Tetsurou Kuroo ANYWHERE. What's going on? Please, do you know anything?!" He called out. Met and answered only with silence, the angel shakes his head. What happened? He was just there last night. He wasn't showing any serious symptoms much less looking weak but for some unknown reason Kei couldn't feel his presence anywhere. If he'd died...he should've known, he should've felt something, someone would've said something from the heavens--so why?

Out of nowhere he's hugged by someone familiar but not the person he was truly hoping for.

"Kei...thank goodness."

"Akiteru--what's going on? Where is my charge? It's like he doesn't even exist any more! Please, tell me you know something!"

"Kei it's bad. Like I've never even seen this scenario bad. But we think he...er...your charge...I don't think he was supposed to receive a guardian. Furthermore I think he made a **_deal_**." The elder angel explained.

This had to be a nightmare or some sort of joke. The scenario Akiteru explained was an impossibility! Angels don't get tricked, humans don't get guardians from making deals! And that would've meant that Kuroo hid everything! That the entire time they were together...that it was rigged and strung up with a deep seeded lie. Kei pulls away from his "sibling's" hold. "Don't joke about that! What you're saying isn't possible! There'd be no way I wouldn't know! That I'd even be given such an assignment!" In a huff, the angel teleported himself to their shabby apartment and frantically calls out Kuroo's name.

This wasn't happening.

Kuroo couldn't have made a deal!

Why would he like...what was it all even for?!

Rummaging around their room Kei finds an unopened envelope. Ripping and reading it has the angel's heart sink and confirms this reality.

_"To Kei,_

_Fuck I hope that's not cliche...Anyways I figure you'll find this or maybe another angel will and hopefully they give it to you. You're a sharp one so it shouldn't take you long right? Firstly I should apologize. I lied. Many, many, many times. The first thing you should realize is that originally, I wasn't even supposed to be alive this long. A few weeks before I met you I was already at death's door--but a cruel temptation hit me hard. I realized that I didn't want to go out like that. Alone and unable to breathe or speak imagine my surprise when it just so happened that a demon of all things came to my aid. Even now I'm not sure why it chose me but I was promised a single wish in exchange for something I'd already lost, in my mind, a long time ago in my futile attempt and obsession to previously cure myself. At my dying hour I asked for something dumb. I asked for love._

_I awoke hours later unsure if I had gone insane or maybe it was all a dream. But that day I saw something inescapable. My demise. Yet somehow out of nowhere I was okay? A few days after that I finished up some last minute "regrets" and later even started writing that stupid note--not even thinking about my consequences much less of how or why I managed to walk out of that hospital with extra time. I lost it Kei. I lost it. And then out of nowhere you showed up._

_And my wish had come true._

_I couldn't believe it. Demons and angels and things like that were seriously real. That somehow, my true love wasn't even of the living world. It was mind boggling. I thought you were the most stunning thing I'd ever seen but colder than ice. Untouchable and way out of reach for some unlucky idiot like me but I was told later that the only reason I was given a guardian was simply because of the demon's magic. I'm sure you know but as a part of our deal, said demon takes a piece of their payment and as it turned out mine was well worth it. Just that piece of soul was enough to give my deal maker the ability to trick the heavens into thinking I would have a grand destiny, and to be worthy of you specifically--one of their most prized angels._

_My cruel reality was knowing the harder you fell for me--the closer my cruel demise would be. And that most likely the beach house trip will be one that I won't come back from. I hope I got a chance to hold you. I hope you know that I did truly fall in love with you Kei. Every second longer I was borrowing from some demonic magic was worth any price and then some. That angel or no, every moment with you was my heaven. You taught me that fate, cruel or predestined can't hold a candle to life's experience as a whole. I'm not sure if you can ever truly forgive me for all the lying, you honestly shouldn't and I'd be okay with that. If you're able, please apologize to Bo on my behalf. He's the best friend I could ever ask for and if it's okay, could I ask you to lie to him too? Tell him you found me later, that you went to the hospital but it was my illness that took me. Akaashi is strong enough so I'm sure he can get Bo and Yachi through anything. Apologize to him too. Shit, Kei. I know this is a lot, especially for you..._

_I wish there was a time where we'd met before. Where we could be that stupid couple that finds happy ever after. Where everything turns out okay and we're laughing over a cheesy joke and you'd hum me a tune. I would gladly sell my soul again if that was an option._

_But all I can say at the end is I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and I love you Kei. With every second I have left I hope I can get that message across. I love you."_

\---

What followed was a painful set of final and very lonely orders for the angel. He'd done exactly as asked. His best friend nearly lost it at the news but sure enough held it together only with the help of the unknown nephilim Akaashi.

But for Akaashi himself, he saw the truth--perhaps because his very existence was a cruel reality and that he always recognized a tragedy. At the funeral he approached the angel as he paid respects alongside his classmates.

"What really happened Kei?"

"He was human Akaashi. He was human and...he did what they always do."

"Lie?" The nephilim asked quietly.

Tears escaped his eyes. Fuck. It'd already been this long and Kei still wasn't over it. It took time but the angel tells the whole truth. Someone else needed to know because Kuroo was right. The burden was too much for Kei alone.

"What will happen to you then? Do they...count it against you in the heavens if something like this happens? What will you do? You fell in love with your charge too..."

"This was my last act as Kuroo's guardian. After the funeral I return and I will make a final report to my superiors. But, I'm not sure at all what happens. Isn't it messed up? For the first time I don't know the answer." The angel admitted. Going back to the heavens seemed like a joke now. Back to cold perfection, something Kei at one point couldn't stop dreaming about. Now? Having to return with a broken heart, failed protection, and no more Kuroo made his stomach churn.

Of all things to do. Of all the stupid things he did; to sell his kind soul to a filthy demon...

Continuing to mourn beside the half angel, he rubs his eyes one last time before taking a breath and fixing his frames. Using a bit of magic, he fixed his appearance to one more appropriate for a funeral. Hopefully this would be the last of the consequences of his lover's lie.

After the painful few hours after that--on cue Kei is involuntarily summoned home. " _Great._ " he thinks, while one by one a total of 3 archangel's enter the white room he's suddenly arrived at.

"Angel Unit, speak you number and rank before this counsel."

The blonde bites his lip before sighing. "Angel Unit Number 011, level 3 guardian rank. Commanding angel Unit is 004."

One of the archangels quickly summons up said commander, Akiteru. He looks around in shock but breaks protocol by hugging the other. "You're still okay. Oh thank the stars..."

"CU 004, you **will** refrain from physically or verbally contacting with your subordinate until this counsel renders a verdict and hears a report. Is that understood?" One of the archangels ordered. Akiteru slowly pulled away from his brother with a look of relief but resumes the usual facade that official business demanded.

"Your holiness, I will gladly hand over all documents relating to this unit's charge. But first my verbal assessment..." Akiteru then goes into great detail about how strange the case was from the beginning. How some nobody human was able to end up on a grand destiny scroll that apparently demanded a guardian angel. How after Kei went off on assignment, whenever Akiteru looked through high rank files, everything seemed well on paper but there was no real "reason" thus not warranting any sort of specific return or reassignment. How Kei did exactly what his job demanded and more even if he stretched rules. That end of the day this was a highly difficult and strange case of demonic magic and a first advanced attempt at interference on a core component of guardianship and angelic recruitment.

At the end of the day while Akiteru wasn't the most organized of superiors, he always did things with intent for the greater good--particularly with his own subordinates. It was a big reason why even with the kept knowledge of being formerly related as mortals, why Kei stayed by Akiteru's side after all these hundreds of years. Once he completed his report, Kei gives his with as much detail as possible. How from the beginning it wasn't understood how Kuroo was even capable of seeing his guardian. Even admitting that he truly cared and loved his charge but had zero prior knowledge of what Tetsurou Kuroo had done to get him to show up in the first place.

Deciding they'd heard enough the archangels leave the brother angels alone.

"Think they'll take my wings?" Kei asked casually to break the tension.

"Kei...it's not like that. You weren't supposed to even be near him. The demon's interference and magical influence likely---"

"Don't! You.." Kei interrupted, "Is that what you're framing this as? I got confused or brainwashed because of some demon's magic? Please. That ended with the scrolls. Everything after? I stand by it Akiteru and you should too. I will always love Tetsurou Kuroo and that won't change." He spat out in frustration. Akiteru lowered his gaze but doesn't hold his tongue for very long.

"As your superior I...can't fathom falling for your charge beyond what I've already told you. You're a brilliant angel Kei. You've done your job flawlessly since you got your wings but I understand and sympathize with your emotional burden. Please also remember the scenario we're in. We're at war with those awful beasts. And if you're still allowed to keep your wings--I plan on redirecting you to the battle division. Just, mind your position Kei, please. For that--ah, for Tetsurou's sake. Tell me, how would he feel if he knew you'd be throwing your own destiny down the drain out of spite?"

That was a low blow. Especially for Akiteru, who didn't know a single thing about what Kuroo would do. "You're right. He'd probably lecture me just like you. But two seconds later he'd be giving me a high five once I'd be shitting on this awful system." Before even hearing the official verdict Kei transported himself out of that room. He couldn't be with angels another second if this was what he'd be forced to fight with. Clearly however his wings weren't taken, and they were giving more cool off time--Kei was far too much of a talent to toss aside.

Walking far past his fellow angel, Kei continues to walk before stopping at the very edge of the holy realm of the heavens. Fuck this sucked so hard. Moping around felt so cliche and stupid but the miserable angel didn't know how to properly express these new feelings. Grief wasn't something he was used to. Life never used to really "matter" besides completing assignments, receiving praise or recognition. This was so wrong. How was he supposed to process this or process being human again?

"Ohohoho? An angel out this far? Hey, anyone tell ya it ain't exactly the safest for feathered folks like you right now?" The unexpected voice sent shivers through the angel's body. Was this grief talking with Kuroo's familiar deep voice? It seemed like it had been so long since he heard it but now he heard it plain as day. Looking around, he readies a common angelic weapon--the bow.

"Show yourself demon! Your tricks won't work on me and you'd best ready yourself for some serious divine retribution with a voice like that." Kei hissed, fingers at the ready to release. Honey colored eyes scan the cloudy but blank scenery before him but there was nothing. Until a very loud "Boo!" Right beside him sends the angel to the ground.

This had to be a joke. And a fucked up one at that because upon lifting his head to meet the chuckling demon, he's met with the familiar sight of Tetsurou Kuroo. Tall, dark, lax but somehow charismatic--but a few distinguishable differences. His eyes had become noticeably more red, his teeth now sharpened, pointed ears, a pair of black horns that looked like they were dipped only slightly in red, dark claws and a tail that was whipping about as he laughed.

Tetsurou Kuroo, the angel's first love had become a demon and somehow was standing right there like it was nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NNN THE PLOT TWIST I WAS DYING TO TYPE UP JUST RIGHT.
> 
> I hope it came it aight. Demon!Kuroo x Angel!Tsooks while one of them has all these gr8 memories and the other has 0 thanks for sticking with me, hope they're ready to fall in love again ayyyy

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO WORLD! First fic ever and I wanted at least one chapter to be view-able on my birthday. 
> 
> I know this fic has a kind of a really depressing feel/theme to it but it won't last that much longer honest! The original idea of this actually came from an oldish rp I had together with a friend (she's probably one of a few ppl I've met who craves KurooTsooks as much as I do and still multiships haha) I was really anxious about talking to her again out of personal reasons so if ya know who u are pal, I'd love to start talking again ;;;
> 
> I don't exactly have the most regular of internet access but if anyone ever wants to talk about fandom things or w/e check out my Twitter or tumblr pages! I'd also love to hear alternative ideas since I'm more familiar with writing via rp versus fic styles so any advice is welcome <333 thanks for reading !!!


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